Lead with Conviction: Strategies to Overcome Imposter Syndrome | Scott McCarthy | Episode 299

Scott McCarthy:
Yes. Welcome, 1. Welcome, all. It is your chief leadership officer, Scott McCarthy. Thanks for tuning in to today’s live video within our free Facebook group, leadership skills for managers who want to be leaders, not bosses. And if you’re watching this live, thanks for tuning in. It’s great to have you here. But before I dive into today’s topic, it’s just, you know, I wanna give you a quick understanding.

Scott McCarthy:
Maybe you’re brand new, and you want you don’t understand, hey, who the heck is this guy? Well, I’m Scott McCarthy. I am your chief leadership officer. What does that mean? It means you can come to me for all your leadership needs and leadership advice. Just like big corporations have chief marketing officers or chief finance officers, you, ladies and gentlemen, have a chief leadership officer. And now why am I qualified to be that? It’s because I have 23 years counting of military experience leading teams in what we refer to as VUCA environments or volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous. Means I’ve led teams up to 200 members in very difficult situations, and I’m bringing these skills that I’ve learned many the hard way, by the way, and I’m going to give them to you, my audience. That’s because I love doing this and helping people and truly getting people to up their leadership game. Why? Because that affects not just you, but your entire team and everyone around you, and that affects everybody around them.

Scott McCarthy:
And it’s such a powerful thing. So that’s who I am. That’s why I’m here. That’s what I aim to achieve. So today we’re talking about imposter syndrome. And what I wanna tell you is everyone lives like when I talk to people, when I coach clients, when I discuss impostor syndrome with the people in the leader growth mastermind, which is our elite mastermind community, by the way, for those who really want to up their leadership game quickly and with less pain. Alright? Anyway, what I tell them is is that 1, imposter syndrome is 100% normal. 2, imposter syndrome is actually a good thing.

Scott McCarthy:
It means that you’re right at the edge of growth. You’re just so close. And 3, imposter syndrome doesn’t actually ever go away 100%. It’s not like you get past imposter syndrome today, and you never see it ever again. It will come back from time to time, and as I just said it about 25 seconds ago, it’s a good thing. So right out of the gate, what I want you to understand is that impostor syndrome is normal as what it is. It can actually help you. Now, what we want to do is we want to understand it, so we get past it as quickly as possible, because we don’t want to have it hindering our leadership abilities.

Scott McCarthy:
Right? That’s the big thing. So before I dive into more, what you’re getting out of this video, this podcast is actually taking out of my ebook, which is free by the way, crushing imposter syndrome. And what you can do is you can easily grab a free copy of that ebook by going to lead don’t boss.comforward/imposter. Alright? Grab that ebook. It’ll be emailed right to you. Copy, download it, and away you go. So first off, let’s understand what is impostor syndrome. It’s this belief that we’re not good enough, that we’re a fraud.

Scott McCarthy:
You ever think, like, people are like, oh, they’re going to know. They’re going to make it out. They’re going to find out that I’m not actually who they think I am. Alright? And, again, as I’ve said, this is actually quite normal. This happens time to time. Alright. Now you have to understand that this occurs despite any actual evidence. Alright? In in the worst case scenarios, which I’ve seen, imposter syndrome has crippled leaders.

Scott McCarthy:
So it goes from a little bit of a doubt over here to actually crippling the leader at the extreme end of the spectrum. Unable to make decisions, completely self doubt, ready to quit, ready to give up. K? This is what we don’t wanna have happen. Now I said earlier, imposter syndrome is good thing. But if you go that far on the spectrum, it becomes a highly negative thing. We don’t want that. We want to actually understand. So what we want to do is understand the psychology behind imposter syndrome.

Scott McCarthy:
And there could be 50,000,000 different factors why you may struggle with imposter syndrome. K? There might be issues with your upbringing. K? Your childhood. Maybe you were just never felt like you were never good enough growing up, and you always just needed to try to prove yourself, but you were never able to quite make it. K? That could be part of where it comes from. Your experiences. So maybe you’ve had difficult times in the past where you’ve had a lot of self doubt, lack of self esteem, and with that, you’ve had a number of negative experiences throughout your time. That can enable imposter syndrome.

Scott McCarthy:
There’s even cultural influences, unfortunately. There’s still cultures out there. For example, that believe women are just not as good as men, even though we know that’s completely false. If anything, women are so much better than men in so many ways. K? But we won’t go down any of that debate, but the moral of the story here is that culture does come into play. So if you have that background, you might want to consider maybe you are going ahead and, you know, having some imposter syndrome. If you find yourself being a perfectionist or if you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, these are sure signs of imposter syndrome. Why? A perfectionist believes that they have to have everything perfect.

Scott McCarthy:
And what that actually shows is that you’re trying to mask your self doubt because if you believe everything is perfect or you show that everything is perfect, people won’t find out about you. K? The comparison aspect shows the lack of self confidence in you. So keep these things in mind. If these are resonating with you, then you may be facing with imposter syndrome, which is why we’re here and we’re talking today. Okay, now, there are 5 myths I want to crush before we get into how we’re going to crush imposter syndrome. Okay. 1st myth, success eliminates imposter syndrome. No.

Scott McCarthy:
That’s not true. You can still you can be successful and still have impostor syndrome. I’ve seen it a million times. It continues. Why? Because success comes out mostly of those perfectionist types. They’re successful, they’re perfectionists. Why? Because they feel that imposter syndrome, that they’re not good enough. They have to have everything perfect.

Scott McCarthy:
By having everything perfect, they’re actually successful, but they keep doing and being perfectionists. Alright? Imposter syndrome myth number 2, imposter syndrome indicates incompetence. You could not be further from the truth. It’s not any indicator of competence or incompetence. The reality is is that many high achieving leaders have experienced impostor syndrome or will continue to experience some form of impostor syndrome throughout their careers. Not that long ago, I had impostor syndrome myself. A year ago, Started a new job where I was gonna be an instructor in front of 13, 14 new candidates who were experienced or up and comers, motivated, and I had imposter syndrome because it wasn’t necessarily of a topic that I was 100% comfortable in it. But guess what? I worked hard, I studied the material, I taught the aspects, which I knew were my strengths.

Scott McCarthy:
I’d leaned on my partners for the areas which I was weak at, and I got through it. Imposter syndrome is not indicator incompetence. Okay? Myth number 3, you must hide your imposter syndrome feelings that you you feel, you know, that you don’t know what you’re doing, and that you’re not good enough. The reality is by actually being vulnerable, you are not being vulnerable by hiding your feelings, you’re actually missing an opportunity to grow with your team, to build a bond. Okay? Because you may be feeling impostor syndrome in a specific area. If you bring that up, especially with someone who is strong in that area, then you can grow together because you’re showing your humanity, your your human side, that you’re not actually superhuman because people don’t relate to people who give that perception of being superhuman. So therefore, you’re actually being more human, more relatable, and that will enable a bond. K? Myth number 4.

Scott McCarthy:
Myth number 4 is perfection is the goal. Perfection is not the goal. The reality is too many people are actually perfectionists, and I would argue perfectionism, the increase in perfectionism in the world is actually leading to the burnout plague that we have going on. And that in itself is part of imposter syndrome. Perfection is not the goal. Progress is the goal, because perfection doesn’t exist. It define my definition of perfection or perfect is completely different from yours. So we’ll never achieve perfection, never strive to achieve perfection, because it’s unattainable goal, and that’s just gonna lead to burnout and that feeling of yourself that you’re not good enough, you can’t make it, you just can’t do it.

Scott McCarthy:
Stop going after perfection, but rather look at progress. Am I improving? Are we achieving benchmarks? Are we getting feedback both positive and negative? Do that, stop burning out, and you’ll see your imposter syndrome dwindle away. And the final myth is imposter syndrome is unchangeable. It is totally changeable. I gave you a story earlier about how I got through a recent example of my own imposter syndrome. You can change it. And I’m going to talk to you about strategies on how to change it. Alright.

Scott McCarthy:
So the first strategy on overcoming and conquering imposter syndrome is developing a growth mindset, a mindset that you can learn, you can adapt, you can increase your skills, that this is just a phase. This is just a time and you’re going to get through it. This is a growth mindset, learning from the setbacks and the challenges, failures, and don’t put yourself down. Rather, look at them and go, alright. What do we learn from this experience? Failure is only a failure if you learn nothing from it. If you fail at something, you learn something from it, that was a growth experience, And that is a growth mindset. And what that’s going to do is it’s going to chew away at the imposter syndrome because you’re now actually building confidence in yourself and your abilities because you’ve learned something and you know now. Alright.

Scott McCarthy:
I know what to do now. I know what not to do. And we’re gonna get through this. Developing that growth mindset is absolutely crucial. Probably the base. Won’t lie. If you don’t have it, it’s gonna be difficult moving forward. The next strategy in cultivating or limiting impostor syndrome and conquering it for good is having some self compassion.

Scott McCarthy:
My god, are we, as leaders, not horrible on ourselves? Like, you show up 5 minutes through a meeting, you’re like, oh my god, I’m the worst boss ever. I’m such a horrible leader. I’m late. You know, you make a minor mistake if, you know, today, for example, it took me 4 times to get one document signed and done and pushed out because it kept making these little mistakes and the weird formatting and stuff like this that needed to be done. And I was just hammering on myself. I’m like, wait now, why does this even matter? Give yourself a break, Scott. I did, and I moved on with my day. That is an example of self compassion.

Scott McCarthy:
Doesn’t matter. So many times in life, we get so upset and so wrapped around the axle about things that don’t matter. Yet, we just crush ourselves over these things. Who cares about the TPS report cover? Who cares that I forgot to underline this couple of words here. Who cares? Like, let’s just get over it and move forward, and give yourself some grace. My god. And this goes back to that whole perfection thing that just kills us. So cultivate some self compassion.

Scott McCarthy:
Give yourself some grace. You have a lot on your plate. Both work and outside of work. You deserve some self compassion. Next way to crush impostor syndrome is my god set some realistic goals. Do not set these huge audacious goals that you know is impossible to accomplish. That’s just going to crush you and crush the team. That’s why I hate stretch goals.

Scott McCarthy:
I like the idea behind stretch goals. Like, let’s push to try to get to there. Okay. Cool. But if we know it’s on the table, well, then why is it a goal? It’s not realistic. I was coaching them in person once, and they’re having imposter syndrome. They were the chief they were chief sales, and they had this massive sales goal. It was huge.

Scott McCarthy:
I couldn’t believe it in talking to him. And then finally, I I I said, what happens if you achieve this? He said, what do you mean? I’m like, if you achieve this sales goal, you know, x number of dollars in sales, it creates the y amount of product. What occurs? He’s like, I don’t know. So he comes back to me as his next coaching session. He’s like, I got the answer. I’m like, cool. What’s the answer? He’s like, we crushed these operations guys. Like, what do you mean you crushed the operations guys? He’s like, if we achieve the sales goal of hitting the dollar amount, which turns around and equates to the amount of product they need to provide, and it was a SaaS SaaS company.

Scott McCarthy:
The actually, operations folks did not have enough resources to provide to it. So now it even doubled down because he felt like he was crushed. He was stuck in the middle. If he didn’t achieve his sales goal, he would look poorly as a leader. If he did achieve his sales goal, he was going to crush the operations of the company in which he was achieving the sales goal for. Set realistic goals. Make sure they’re tied together. Make sure they work.

Scott McCarthy:
Make sure you actually have the resources, time to be able to achieve them. Because if they align with your expectations and your capabilities, that’s going to fuel your crushing your imposter syndrome. Let’s talk a little bit about leading your team with confidence because as a leader, this is crucial with overcoming impostor syndrome. And that is, 1st and foremost, set the example. So at the example of the leader that you expect them to be within the team, the follower that you expect them to have. So for example, being at work is super crucial, then you best be at work on time, all the time. If open dialogue and communication is a core value of your team, your organization, and you show up the work and you go in and shut your door to your office and say to your team, you can, speak to me only when you put a calendar invite in and book some time on my calendar, That is not going to work. And in fact, you’re going to double down on your imposter syndrome because your team is going to slip away from you.

Scott McCarthy:
And you’ll notice all your KPIs will go down. Productivity will go down. Team member turnover will increase. Why? Because you’re not leading by example. And then the impostor syndrome creep in because all this stuff that’s going on, all this negativity. And you go, maybe I’m not a great leader. Maybe I’m not supposed to be in this job. Maybe I’m not cut out for this role.

Scott McCarthy:
And the reality is you just need to open your door and be there for your team. And that kinda ties into the next thing, which is fostering open communication. Enabling them to and enabling your team to have a culture where self doubt is normalized and supported. It’s okay. In a former job where I was leading a team of 24, I allowed my direct subordinates to come in my room, in my office, and go, hey, boss. Can we, like, bounce some ideas? Like, I’m having a tough time. I’m like, yeah. Sure.

Scott McCarthy:
I did that without judgment. This is how you do this. You do it without judgment. Tell them they’re not gonna be judged by doing this. And we would sit there and we just talk through it. Why? Because this is my best interest because they are taking on these tasks for me. So it’s in my best interest because they’re doing it on my behalf. So I need to provide them that space, that opportunity to be psychologically safe, to not be judged, to show up, bounce ideas, talk through problems, allow them go through their self doubt, get over it, provide them some feedback if I have it.

Scott McCarthy:
And most of the time, you know what was required? People just need to hear themselves talk. I mean, talk would talk through the problem, and I would just be there. I’d be like, they’re like, anything to add? I’m like, I think you got it. And they’ll be like, yeah. I think I do. Alright. Let’s go get after it. And that’s what we would do.

Scott McCarthy:
So this is how you can foster that type of culture within your team. There you go, ladies and gentlemen. That is the quick version of our ebook. Again, if you want a copy of it, if you don’t have a copy yet, go to lead don’t boss.comforward/impostor. If You’re watching this live in the Facebook group, there is a pin comment with that link. Remember, the 5 myths, you know, success eliminates imposter syndrome, not true. Imposter syndrome indicates in competence and not true. And pot, you must hide your imposter feelings.

Scott McCarthy:
No, not true. Perfection is the goal. Definitely not true. And imposter syndrome is unchangeable. Totally not true. You get through this by having that growth mindset, developing some self compassion, setting some realistic goal, leaving by example, and fostering open communications with your team, and finally, understanding. Last thing I’ll wrap up with is understanding that imposter syndrome is actually a good thing if you recognize it properly and if you take appropriate actions. You grow, you develop, move on, and you keep going.

Scott McCarthy:
And if you have a hard time and you’re stuck and you can’t get through this imposter syndrome, there’s one more thing which can definitely help you, and that is a community of like minded leaders, which will help you grow in sounding board and cut the noise and reassure you that you are the leader that you’re meant to be. Have that community waiting for you. It is the leader growth mastermind and is here for you. We we meet weekly. In fact, we’ll be meeting shortly after they’re finished with this video. Do our group calls. We have weekly curated content, so much more. In this community.

Scott McCarthy:
I believe in it so much that I have the world’s greatest guarantee for it. And as if you come, you put your effort into it, and you decide it’s not for you, I won’t give you your money back for that month, but rather I will double it. Because I firmly believe when you show up, you won’t want to leave. So you can check out more at leaddon’t boss.comforward/mastermind. Join us now. Start becoming that leader you’re meant to be. Crush that imposter syndrome. Lead with confidence.

Scott McCarthy:
Lead with conviction. Lead from the front. You can do this, and we’re here to help. Till next time. Lead. Don’t boss. Take care now.