Workplace conflict is an inevitable part of professional life. Despite everyone’s best intentions, there will always be moments when tensions rise and disagreements occur. The real challenge lies in how we handle these conflicts to ensure they don’t hinder organizational performance or lead to long-lasting animosity among team members. This article delves into effective strategies for managing and mitigating workplace conflict by addressing the proverbial “elephant in the room.”
Understanding the Elephant in the Room
The term “elephant in the room” refers to a significant issue that everyone is aware of but nobody wants to talk about. These unaddressed issues can block organizational performance and lead to conflict. Recognizing the elephant is the first step towards addressing it.
People often avoid talking about the elephant in the room because of fear, discomfort, or a lack of confidence in their communication skills. However, avoiding the issue only exacerbates the problem. The key is to recognize that these elephants exist and to have the courage and skills to address them.
Recognizing the Lenses We Wear
Our perception of the world and, consequently, of workplace situations is influenced by various “lenses” we wear. These lenses include our genetics, childhood experiences, and lifetime experiences. These lenses shape how we see and interpret information and can vary significantly from person to person.
Understanding that each individual has different lenses is crucial in managing conflicts. Acknowledging that your perception may differ from someone else’s helps create an environment where diverse viewpoints are respected and considered.
The Role of the Animal Brain
At our core, human beings are hardwired to belong. Our animal brain, focused on survival, recognizes that there is safety in numbers. This primal part of our brain seeks to fit in and feel safe within a group.
However, when someone has a different viewpoint, the animal brain perceives it as a threat, leading to a surge of cortisol—the stress hormone. This makes us feel uncomfortable and reinforces our belief that our way of seeing the world is correct. When faced with such a situation, rather than digging in and becoming defensive, it is essential to get curious and engage in open dialogue.
Building Psychological Safety
Psychological safety is the cornerstone of managing workplace conflict effectively. It refers to the belief that one can speak up, offer ideas, and voice concerns without fear of ridicule or punishment. Creating an environment where employees feel psychologically safe encourages openness, trust, and collaboration.
Steps to Build Psychological Safety
- Find Common Ground Beyond Work: Establishing personal connections helps build trust. Engage in conversations about non-work-related interests and find commonalities. This helps create a bond that can make addressing professional disagreements easier.
- Give Specific Positive Feedback: Recognize and appreciate the contributions of team members with specific feedback. Instead of generic praise, highlight particular actions and their positive impacts. This validation boosts their sense of belonging and value within the team.
- Address Issues Calmly: When conflicts arise, approach them with a calm demeanor. Use phrases like “help me understand” to express curiosity rather than confrontation. This approach reduces defensiveness and promotes a more productive dialogue.
- Encourage Open Communication: Foster a culture where feedback—both positive and constructive—is encouraged. Equip team members with the skills to give and receive feedback effectively, ensuring that it is seen as an opportunity for growth rather than criticism.
Managing Allostatic Load
Allostatic load refers to the cumulative burden of chronic stress and life events. High allostatic load leads to decreased tolerance for additional stressors, and even minor issues can trigger significant emotional responses. Leaders must be aware of their own allostatic load and that of their team members to manage conflicts effectively.
Strategies to Manage Allostatic Load
- Recognize Stressors: Identify the various stressors affecting you and your team members. This includes personal and professional demands that might be impacting their emotional and cognitive bandwidth.
- Self-Regulation: Develop strategies to regulate your emotions and maintain a calm state of mind. This might include mindfulness practices, regular breaks, or physical activity.
- Support Systems: Create a support system within the team where members can share their burdens and seek help when needed. This network can alleviate stress and provide reassurance during challenging times.
Addressing Workplace Conflicts Proactively
Scenario 1: Colleague vs. Colleague Conflict
When conflicts occur between colleagues, it’s crucial to intervene early to prevent escalation. Here are steps to manage such conflicts:
- Encourage Direct Communication: Prompt the individuals involved to discuss the issue directly with each other. Ensure they use “I” statements to express their feelings without blaming the other person. Example: “I feel overwhelmed when the workload isn’t evenly distributed, and I would like us to find a more balanced approach.”
- Facilitate a Neutral Environment: If direct communication doesn’t resolve the issue, facilitate a meeting in a neutral environment. Act as a mediator to guide the conversation and ensure both parties feel heard.
- Focus on Common Goals: Redirect the discussion towards common goals and interests. Emphasize the bigger picture and how resolving the conflict benefits the team as a whole.
Scenario 2: Leader vs. Subordinate Conflict
Conflicts between a leader and a subordinate can be particularly challenging due to the power dynamics involved. To navigate such conflicts:
- Acknowledge Power Dynamics: As a leader, recognize the inherent power imbalance and approach the conflict with humility and openness.
- Create a Safe Space: Ensure the subordinate feels safe to express their views without fear of retaliation. This might involve private, one-on-one meetings where confidentiality is assured.
- Seek to Understand: Use empathetic language to understand the subordinate’s perspective fully. Ask open-ended questions to uncover underlying issues and show genuine interest in their well-being. Example: “Can you help me understand what challenges you are facing with the current project?”
- Collaborate on Solutions: Work together to find mutually acceptable solutions. Involve the subordinate in the decision-making process, empowering them to contribute to resolving the conflict.
Using Neuroscience to Reduce Conflict
Neuroscience offers insights into how our brains react during conflicts and provides strategies to mitigate these reactions. The release of neurochemicals such as oxytocin and serotonin plays a vital role in reducing stress and promoting positive interactions.
- Building Connection (Oxytocin): Promote activities and interactions that build trust and connection among team members. This might include team-building exercises, social events, or simply encouraging regular check-ins.
- Recognizing Achievement (Serotonin): Acknowledge and celebrate achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement through recognition boosts confidence and reinforces a sense of belonging.
Moving Forward
Workplace conflicts, if left unaddressed, can erode trust, hinder performance, and create a toxic work environment. By recognizing the elephants in the room, understanding the lenses we wear, building psychological safety, managing allostatic load, and leveraging neuroscience, leaders can navigate conflicts more effectively.
Encourage open communication, foster a culture of curiosity, and focus on creating an environment where everyone feels valued and heard. By doing so, you not only shrink the elephant in the room but also pave the way for a more harmonious and productive workplace.
Practical Tips for Leaders:
- Invest in Training: Provide training for your team on communication, conflict resolution, and emotional intelligence.
- Model Behavior: Demonstrate the behaviors you want to see in your team. Be open, curious, and willing to admit mistakes.
- Regular Check-ins: Conduct regular one-on-one check-ins with team members to gauge their stress levels and address any brewing conflicts early.
- Encourage Feedback: Create an environment where feedback is normalized and seen as a tool for growth.
- Build a Support Network: Encourage team members to support each other and create a culture of solidarity and mutual aid.
By implementing these strategies, leaders can create a resilient work environment where conflicts are managed constructively, leading to stronger teams and better organizational outcomes. Remember, the goal is not to eliminate conflict entirely but to handle it in a way that strengthens relationships and enhances performance.
Credits
The content in this blog was taken from my interview with Genevieve Hawkins. You can check out the podcast episode to learn more!